"For Women Only"

Apparently I'm a bad wife.

Such is the verdict from "For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men".

Here's the list of things I don't do:

• I'm not 'trying to take care of myself' -- I'm not pretty enough and am not making a visibly active effort to lose weight.
• I don't give a flying crap about if I hurt his feelings when I tell him his jokes and rude noises aren't funny.
• I don't have sex when I don't feel like it.

So yeah, I'm a bad wife. Whoo hoo. I suppose it doesn't help that I'm moody and evil and feel about as sexy as cold oatmeal (thanks, Yasmin!).

Good thing we haven't started merging our CD and DVD collections. According to certain parties, divorce is imminent. Oh well. at least then I can get off the birth control and not feel like a slug.

I wrote a review on amazon about the book and my hatred for it:

How do you rate this item: 1 star

Please enter a title for your review: How to Cater to your Husband and Ignore Your Own Needs.

A well-meaning friend sent this to me. Perhaps I'm a bad wife, but i couldn't help but wonder where the compromise came in.
If you were to take this book as gospel, you'd have long bitten off your tongue to stop saying anything your husband could consider derrogatory or disrespectful, you'd be starving yourself (but cooking gourmet dinners for him) lest he think you weren't 'taking care of yourself', and faking orgasms every night because "men need sex; it's the physical equivalent of them talking to you".
So if you want a marraige like that, I'd definitely say 'follow this book to the letter.' If you want your marriage to be all about him, then read this book and follow the directions. Or, better yet, if you want to feel guilty because despite your best efforts, you dare speak your mind and say no to sex every now and again because you're -- gasp! -- tired, or worse, BUSY! Read this book.
otherwise, don't bother. It'll just make you mad.

I really want to write the author and ask her if she actually lives in Stepford, or if she lobotomized herself at home. Who can do all that crap?

And of course, the friend who sent the book was sugary about my text message: "I LOATHED this book".

"I really didn't expect you to like it."

See? she knows I'm a crap wife, too.