Bride > friend?
One of my bridesmaids has notified me that a mutual friend who was supposed to be a groomsman Won't Be Coming To The Wedding.
Which would be fine, if this wasn't the first I'd heard of it.
Although I can't say I didn't see it coming a little bit. He's been upset with me, ("We don't talk like we used to, we aren't friends like we once were") lately. Understandable. Completely. I turned into Spiteful Jealous Bridesbitch, snarl, snarl when my best friend from college got married. ("We won't be friends anymore! you'll forget about me!")
For a while, i was really scared that I would be dumped as a friend. And I kinda was. Marriage is rather like that. It's like when you get a boyfriend and swear you won't forget Your Girls, but inevitably, you grow a little distance from them. They're still your friends, you still talk to them, you still want to go shopping with them and stuff, you just can't do it on Date Night, or when you're having cuddle time with your husband. And you can't talk to them whenever they want, like at 1 a.m. when they just got home from a Really Good/Bad Date and want to analyze it.
I had to get used to it, and I admit it was hard as all get out, and I was pissed off and angry for a while. And then one of us called the other, and it was okay again. She was still the same person, and I could still talk to her, and we could still laugh. And she didn't hate me. I think she kinda knew that I was being pissy about it, too, when she was engaged. But she was sweet that way, she didn't say anything, she just let me know she was still my friend and understood me.
We don't talk as often as we used to, but damn if I don't talk to her more now that I'm going through this. And my other married girlfriend let me know right off the bat that she understood. "You're gonna have a lot of people pissed off at you about this wedding," she said. "Let me know if you need anything."
I called to talk to my guy friend today, just to chat, and he sounded happy. Which is good. I like to hear him happy. He deserves it. He didn't say anything about the wedding, or anything, and I didn't want to talk about it. If he doesn't want to come, that's his decision. But it was nice to talk to him, anyway. I'll have to do better about that, like my friend did for me.
Which would be fine, if this wasn't the first I'd heard of it.
Although I can't say I didn't see it coming a little bit. He's been upset with me, ("We don't talk like we used to, we aren't friends like we once were") lately. Understandable. Completely. I turned into Spiteful Jealous Bridesbitch, snarl, snarl when my best friend from college got married. ("We won't be friends anymore! you'll forget about me!")
For a while, i was really scared that I would be dumped as a friend. And I kinda was. Marriage is rather like that. It's like when you get a boyfriend and swear you won't forget Your Girls, but inevitably, you grow a little distance from them. They're still your friends, you still talk to them, you still want to go shopping with them and stuff, you just can't do it on Date Night, or when you're having cuddle time with your husband. And you can't talk to them whenever they want, like at 1 a.m. when they just got home from a Really Good/Bad Date and want to analyze it.
I had to get used to it, and I admit it was hard as all get out, and I was pissed off and angry for a while. And then one of us called the other, and it was okay again. She was still the same person, and I could still talk to her, and we could still laugh. And she didn't hate me. I think she kinda knew that I was being pissy about it, too, when she was engaged. But she was sweet that way, she didn't say anything, she just let me know she was still my friend and understood me.
We don't talk as often as we used to, but damn if I don't talk to her more now that I'm going through this. And my other married girlfriend let me know right off the bat that she understood. "You're gonna have a lot of people pissed off at you about this wedding," she said. "Let me know if you need anything."
I called to talk to my guy friend today, just to chat, and he sounded happy. Which is good. I like to hear him happy. He deserves it. He didn't say anything about the wedding, or anything, and I didn't want to talk about it. If he doesn't want to come, that's his decision. But it was nice to talk to him, anyway. I'll have to do better about that, like my friend did for me.
posted by Gina at 10:46 PM
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