In which the term "wifely duties" is used.
The brief sexual buzz I'd gotten from watching Fall(right up there with Dangerous Liasons when it cmoes to sexiness and thought-provocation) and some would-be-middlebrow(if only for the introduction of classical music and an unattractive european male protagonist)late-night Skinemax movie On Demand is gone.
C. came home tonight, earlier than usual, but late (around 3 a.m.), and for some inexplicable reason, wanted some. And I didn't really feel like it. Let's do the math:
*no prep time.
*no foreplay, mental or otherwise. (have given up on ever having mental foreplay again)
*no reason to want except for guilt in having already said no once this week.
*newly ordered vibrator (thanks mysweettempation.com!)will be here soon.
So when he climbed into bed and did his little bump-and-grind number, I rolled my eyes and said I really didn't feel like it.
But oh no...it doesn't stop there, folks!
He persisted (WHY do men do this? If we say we don't want to have sex, you grinding your erect penis -- or worse, thrusting it -- isn't going to change our minds. We wont' suddenly be overcome with lust.
Him: (Jokingly) Do your wifely duties!
Me: (in head) what the FUCK did he just say?
Me: (out loud) what?
Him (tugging at panties) I"m just joking.
Me: I'm really not ready.
Him: (initiating feeble attempt at 'getting me ready', totally missing any possible point)
Me:( rolls eyes, realizes he's NOT kidding at all, and lets him do whatever, wishing I'd never woken up and called him. I roll my eyes the ENTIRE TIME and don't make eye contact. After a few sorry minutes, he realizes that I'm Just Not Into It and says he has a leg cramp.) Oh, sorry.
Him: (getting up and putting on his underwear)Did you watch all of The Shield?
(end scene)
Times like this I wonder why I got married. If I wanted bad sex the rest of my life, I would have stayed single. At least then the only pressure I got was from myself, and not from some antiquated sense of 'duty'.
C. came home tonight, earlier than usual, but late (around 3 a.m.), and for some inexplicable reason, wanted some. And I didn't really feel like it. Let's do the math:
*no prep time.
*no foreplay, mental or otherwise. (have given up on ever having mental foreplay again)
*no reason to want except for guilt in having already said no once this week.
*newly ordered vibrator (thanks mysweettempation.com!)will be here soon.
So when he climbed into bed and did his little bump-and-grind number, I rolled my eyes and said I really didn't feel like it.
But oh no...it doesn't stop there, folks!
He persisted (WHY do men do this? If we say we don't want to have sex, you grinding your erect penis -- or worse, thrusting it -- isn't going to change our minds. We wont' suddenly be overcome with lust.
Him: (Jokingly) Do your wifely duties!
Me: (in head) what the FUCK did he just say?
Me: (out loud) what?
Him (tugging at panties) I"m just joking.
Me: I'm really not ready.
Him: (initiating feeble attempt at 'getting me ready', totally missing any possible point)
Me:( rolls eyes, realizes he's NOT kidding at all, and lets him do whatever, wishing I'd never woken up and called him. I roll my eyes the ENTIRE TIME and don't make eye contact. After a few sorry minutes, he realizes that I'm Just Not Into It and says he has a leg cramp.) Oh, sorry.
Him: (getting up and putting on his underwear)Did you watch all of The Shield?
(end scene)
Times like this I wonder why I got married. If I wanted bad sex the rest of my life, I would have stayed single. At least then the only pressure I got was from myself, and not from some antiquated sense of 'duty'.
posted by Gina at 4:21 AM
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