Regret, or Why Warnings Should Be Heeded.

Upon my expressing some uncertainty about some aspects of my marriage, a dear friend told me, only half-jokingly:

"You could always take a lover."

At the time, I thought her bitter, mean, and more than a little wrong.

Now I see her words for what they really are: Utter wisdom.

I was reading His Needs; Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage and got through maybe the first half of the chapter of "what he needs" (sex on tap) before wanting to take the book, strap it to a Cemtex brick, and throw it at the author, HARD.

of course, men don't read these books. they don't care that we need "affection" "conversation", etc. Those concepts, to them, are like Plato's Ideals: Things they hear about on TV and songs, but none of them ever think it exists, much less that they would want to experience any of it, or God forbid, have to do any of it for their wives.

So why are we beat about the head and shoulders with advice like "Make yourself more physically available?" and "Find out more about your libido so that you can be more sexually in tune with him"!?

His idea of foreplay is pulling at my bra. There is no sexual tune there.

So I'm a bad wife because I'm denying him "The sex he so desperately needs".

I need a lot of things. I need a hobby. I need to reread Shakespeare's tragedies.

I need to lose 50 pounds and call my friend and ask her if she knows anybody.