Eff "health". I wanna be sexy. And other musings.
So is it wrong that every reason I can suddenly come up with to lose weight is seuxal? I want to lose weight so I can have more men that want to fuck me. I want to lose weight so I can look like someone men would like to fuck. I want to lose weight so I can feel sexier when I masturbate. I want to lose weight so I can entice my husband. I want to lose weight so I can entice men who are not my husband. I want to lose weight so I can have the mind-blowing orgasms I had before I was fat.
Eff health. I want to be a sex goddess. Who needs to be a sex goddess who dies at a ripe old age? There are no sex goddesses past 40. I have 8 years.
Speaking of years...It was a little over 5 years ago that I lost my virginity. Seems like ages. And it also seems that since then, I haven't written a decent piece of erotica.
I mulled long and hard (heh) over that decidedly one-sided conversation with Anubis. Why is it that a man saying he would give up his own orgasm for mine gets me so hot? Why is it that him saying that he could just make me come for hours, on and on.....Why is it that I couldn't stop coming, even with just him saying it?
Because I know better. It's the ultimate fantasy for me. A woman who's sexual education differed so much from her fantasy is bound to want to belive the fantasy part: that sex is a give-and-take on both sides, not just I give and he takes. All my erotica has an exchange of pleasure: both parties are involved in what the other wants, feels, desires.
Whereas in the real world, lovers simply take without thought to what the other wants.
Is it any wonder that I can no longer even imagine a world where men lave at their partners' fingers, nipples, pussy....where they can touch skin with only their fingertips, and tease their partners to orgasm? It seems laughable to even think it. Ludicrous. No man exists.
Perhaps that is why my own husband wont' read my work - - he knows it for what it is: damning of him and impossible to live up to. And that is why I can no longer write: I have no inspiration; my muse died the night I let a man take from me without giving.
Eff health. I want to be a sex goddess. Who needs to be a sex goddess who dies at a ripe old age? There are no sex goddesses past 40. I have 8 years.
Speaking of years...It was a little over 5 years ago that I lost my virginity. Seems like ages. And it also seems that since then, I haven't written a decent piece of erotica.
I mulled long and hard (heh) over that decidedly one-sided conversation with Anubis. Why is it that a man saying he would give up his own orgasm for mine gets me so hot? Why is it that him saying that he could just make me come for hours, on and on.....Why is it that I couldn't stop coming, even with just him saying it?
Because I know better. It's the ultimate fantasy for me. A woman who's sexual education differed so much from her fantasy is bound to want to belive the fantasy part: that sex is a give-and-take on both sides, not just I give and he takes. All my erotica has an exchange of pleasure: both parties are involved in what the other wants, feels, desires.
Whereas in the real world, lovers simply take without thought to what the other wants.
Is it any wonder that I can no longer even imagine a world where men lave at their partners' fingers, nipples, pussy....where they can touch skin with only their fingertips, and tease their partners to orgasm? It seems laughable to even think it. Ludicrous. No man exists.
Perhaps that is why my own husband wont' read my work - - he knows it for what it is: damning of him and impossible to live up to. And that is why I can no longer write: I have no inspiration; my muse died the night I let a man take from me without giving.
posted by Gina at 7:15 PM
1 Comments:
Oh, I can so relate to what you are saying...
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