straight, no chaser

This week, I'll be doing something of an inadvertent social experiment: will people react to me differently now that my hair is pressed? And what will happen after I've gone back to the twists?

subject 1: fellow patron of my stylist's shop who said "Oh, now THAT looks nice! That looks really good on you! I just don't know how you do that nappy stuff!" I replied with a civil "Well, chemicals and heat damage my hair". It was clear that she was of the "Nappy is bad and why can't you just be normal and straighten your hair" camp.

subject 2: My mother, who insisted on taking several pictures of me and my hair in different light. It took her all of ten minutes to hint that maybe I should get a weave because "You work in a professional place." (i.e. "Nappy is unprofessional and you know you should have hair like white folks in order to work with them"). So i had to explaint (again) why I have the twists, and why it's better for my hair. And that my husband hates weave on me.

Subject 3: white female boss at work, who said, "Oh, your hair looks nice! Now, this is a different look too! So this is your hair straightened. (I had to explain to her about the hot comb and that my hair will be different again next week). I really like that look, but I like the other thing, braids? what do you call them? [me: "twists"] Yeah, twists. I like those too."

Subject 4: my husband, C. who said (to be fair, on his way to the bathroom to change after coming in from the gym) "Yeah, it looks nice." And when I proceeded to do the outraged vanity glare/pout because he didn't fall all over himself saying how gorgeous I am with the new hairstyle and why didn't we just stay home and he could help me sweat my hair out, just said, "what? it looks nice -- my shorts are soaked!"

I really love him sometimes.

I should have included myself as a subject because to be honest, I've conflicting feelings about this. I'm scared for my hair, because even on the best of days it's fragile and very soft and difficult. Smelling the heat on my hair yesterday made me want to jump out of the chair and run like hell.

On the other hand, I can't kid myself and make believe that everyone accepts my twists. They aren't at all what anyone (myself included) would consider 'sexy' and what most would call 'attractive'. My 'fro is cute, but I'm not really the Nia Long/Sanaa Lathan type that could rock it and be dead sexy. I just sort of try to make it look as neat as possible and keep it movin'.

But there's a part of me that knows that my straight hair is more acceptable -- especially here, in a white workplace. And beyond being 'acceptable', it's considered attractive and pretty and proper. Right.

Which means my hair, my real hair, in it's natural state -- is unacceptable, ugly. Wrong.

And while I find it amusing that the same guy from the 2nd floor who called my braids "medusa things" was practically on top of me, looking at my hair (I had to actually back away from him), gazing at it in wonder, saying "it's like a complete change!"

"It's called....it's just straightened."

I asked one of only two black men that work here "Is my hair really that fascinating?"

His knowing, said-with-a-laugh answer: "Must be. Looks good, though."