Frailty, thy name is woman
Between eating everything that isn't poisonous (really; at about 7.15, I was scarfing raw bell pepper slices with balsamic vinegar -- it's amazing what you don't find disgusting when you're upset) and not being able to look at either myself or my clothes, I'll be really glad when I'm over this little funk/whatever it is I'm in right now.
And I can't say that my idiotic "Deal" (read: backed-into-a-corner to prove I'm not selfish and will be a bad mother even though I know myself to be selfish and therefore probably will be a bad mother) with C. to only buy ONE THING a month for six months (!!! WTF Was I Thinking?! And with Spring lines coming out in 6 weeks?!) is making things any better.
I'm already looking for loopholes (one: if I buy something and return it, can I buy something else? Two: Cosmetics are exempt. Smartass, he knows I don't buy/wear a lot of the stuff and is even giving me some money to get some.), and feel silly for doing so. Not to mention cheaty.
I wonder how long it'll be until my first "I'm ugly because everything in my closet is crap and all my friends are better/prettier/skinnier than me" meltdown. I'll be generous: 20 days.
Estimated time until I get bitchy because I see stuff and can't buy it and it will (of course) make me beautiful and improve my life 1000%: 48 hours. I've already seen a bra, a skirt, and a pair of shoes that could possibly be life-altering. Of course, what I really need is gastric bypass surgery and my mouth sewn shut. Then I'll look great in everything! Hurrah!
The idea that I will have to go out with friends (first test: Jan. 27 at the Pole Dancing lesson -- what does one wear?) and to events without buying something to bolster whatever lagging self-image I have at the time is both terrifying and unthinkable. What the hell am I supposed to do when we decide to go on a road trip? Look awful? Wear something I already have in my closet that makes me look like a wildebeest?
Apparently so, at least until July 1.
Damned summer can't get here fast enough.
C., of course, is clueless and is "so proud of me." Whee.
And I can't say that my idiotic "Deal" (read: backed-into-a-corner to prove I'm not selfish and will be a bad mother even though I know myself to be selfish and therefore probably will be a bad mother) with C. to only buy ONE THING a month for six months (!!! WTF Was I Thinking?! And with Spring lines coming out in 6 weeks?!) is making things any better.
I'm already looking for loopholes (one: if I buy something and return it, can I buy something else? Two: Cosmetics are exempt. Smartass, he knows I don't buy/wear a lot of the stuff and is even giving me some money to get some.), and feel silly for doing so. Not to mention cheaty.
I wonder how long it'll be until my first "I'm ugly because everything in my closet is crap and all my friends are better/prettier/skinnier than me" meltdown. I'll be generous: 20 days.
Estimated time until I get bitchy because I see stuff and can't buy it and it will (of course) make me beautiful and improve my life 1000%: 48 hours. I've already seen a bra, a skirt, and a pair of shoes that could possibly be life-altering. Of course, what I really need is gastric bypass surgery and my mouth sewn shut. Then I'll look great in everything! Hurrah!
The idea that I will have to go out with friends (first test: Jan. 27 at the Pole Dancing lesson -- what does one wear?) and to events without buying something to bolster whatever lagging self-image I have at the time is both terrifying and unthinkable. What the hell am I supposed to do when we decide to go on a road trip? Look awful? Wear something I already have in my closet that makes me look like a wildebeest?
Apparently so, at least until July 1.
Damned summer can't get here fast enough.
C., of course, is clueless and is "so proud of me." Whee.
posted by Gina at 11:37 PM
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