Perchance to Dream...

What does it mean when the man you love wakes up from his nightly pre-work nap, looks at you a little dazedly, and asks "Babe, do you love me?" in that frightened voice one has when one is still sort of asleep but knows the nightmare they've been having is over?

Basically, C. has had the same dream 2 days in a row: Something about me, this house, and I'm assuming, me cheating on him. And something else he wont' tell me.

Which, honestly, made me feel terrible.What am I not doing to make him feel this is possible? What is going through his head? How can I fix this?

Maddening.

Where's Joseph when you need him?

one-third.

Should I live to be 100, approximately 1/3 of my life is over. In some respects, this is a relief: I've done some growing and hopefully my days of idiotic mistakes are behind me.

But then there's the pressure: What the hell have I been doing? Where's the impact on society? The Black Love manifesto? The fabulous career? I was supposed to have done all this stuff by now, and haven't. Again, assuming I'm living to 100 (mighty optimistic, aren't I?), I still have 66 more years to get it together.

NaNoWriMo only lasts a month, maybe I can start with that. A No Buy AND outlining a novel. Whee!